My Heart
I always question how personal to get on the old blog! Many of you come here to look at pretty photos and I can’t thank you enough for that. Tonight, after 3 hours of working on clearing out my never empty inbox I made it to the bottom! This is a great accomplishment as I always have 100+ emails to reply to and will again tomorrow! For tonight though, I am thrilled to have made it to the bottom of the inbox!
We all know that those last 10-20 emails we hold on to in our inboxes are the one’s we either want to get to later or can’t bring ourselves to delete. Much to my delight, the last email in my inbox is not a “to-do” but rather one of the most thought provoking websites I have ever seen.
The website I am going to beg you to go to is called World Clock (above). It collects statistics on everything from Environment and Energy to Illness, Crime, and Death. Okay, I’m totally going there, shoot!
What ever your cause; religion, political party, environment, etc you can find heart breaking statistics to support and strengthen your passion for that belief. If you happen to go to this site let me direct you to where my hearts passion lies, abortion.
It is listed under the death category. I realize this is such a personal decision for every woman and couple and in no way do I want to offend. It is simply the thing that most breaks my heart.
I got pregnant unexpectantly last year. I was so far away from being ready to be a mom. My career was taking off, life was busy and good, I was traveling and simply not quite ready to “play mom”. I remember laying on a bed, looking at Tim and not knowing how to tell him that I was pregnant. I did. We were silent.
I’ve been pro-life all my life, it’s how I was raised. Because of that I was amazed at how quickly the option of abortion came to mind upon finding out about my pregnancy. I spoke with the 3 closest family members in my life about our situation. I was amazed, each of our Pro Life family members said to “do what I need to do”. And of course, “only I know what that is”.
There it was, blatantly before me… The Future: simple or complex. easy or challenging. me or him.
People use the expression, there was no decision about it… (or something like) that to profess their resolve over a topic. In my case, there was a decision about it and I faced it many times.
One month later I heard my babies heart beat. I have never heard such a sound. 2 months after that I saw his legs, his arms, him! He was beautiful even then and well… now I’m crying.
I took full advantage of my 9 months of pregnancy to prepare. Tim and I were scared to death our entire pregnancy. And each and every day of it was something I would now lay down my life for. In February Noah graced our days with his Life.
He is the most beautiful contribution I’ve ever made to this world.
He is my joy, my peace, my brightness, the love of my life. He brings me hope and life and vision….
Those close to me knew the difficulty of this change in my life and throughout my pregnancy the most unexpected people approached me in confidence sharing that they had had an abortion. One of my dearest friends came to see Noah’s room for the first time and stood at his dresser and held a one-sie in her hands. She began to cry. I didn’t understand but a moment later she explained her past decision to abort a baby.
I stand in judgment of no one, as my life could be picked apart by anyone. But I guess I write all of this to ask you to watch the “World Clock”, abortion deaths. The numbers go up in front of your eyes. It’s sad, scary, unbelievable. Heartbreaking to me thanks to my bestest baby boy Noah.
If you’re still reading thank you and please know I’m not standing on a platform, just sad. Enjoy?!?
